Lessons in Grace

Photo courtesy of www.wlandscape.net

I was having one of those days where my two little ones would not stop bickering. One of my older boys was complaining incessantly about everything that I asked him to do. I forgot to go to the store, I had assignments that were overdue for multiple classes, and my dog kept wandering off. Then I got a call that my Grandma was ill again and probably wasn’t going to make it. As I was trying to put out fire after fire my stress level hit the roof and that was it!

A tumble weed rolled through my kitchen and you could almost hear a faint whistling in the air signaling that a standoff was coming.

With a look on my face that screamed “I just dare you to poke your brother one more time!” I started barking orders at everyone in the room. I’d had all that I could take of the daunting, endless wave of everyone’s seemingly petty frustrations when I had real issues to deal with!

At the peak of my ranting my 14-year-old son emerged from the hallway and crossed the room with quiet intent. Just as I was about to give him the “What is it now!” he very gently reached his arms around me and just held me there.

Very quietly he whispered, “I love you Mom.”

It took my breath away. I broke down and sobbed like a baby on my sweet boy’s shoulder.

It was at that moment that I realized how many times I had looked at one of my children in a state like this and had passed off their frustrations as insignificant drama. I was deeply saddened at the realization that so many of those times all my kids really needed was a little validation and reassurance of my love and support. We all need that kind of validation sometimes. From the 2-year-old who lost his truck to the bully on the playground, to the retiree who just lost their spouse and has to figure out how to cope with life on their own. Life hurts sometimes we need to know  somebody cares.

My son taught me a lesson that day that I pray I will never forget. When the people in our lives break down in the ugliest of ways it can be easy to get defensive, or even to run away. He heard my struggle that day through all of my ranting and he chose to love me through it. When he crossed that room he brought me a grace and understanding that broke down every wall that I was trying to build up in my anger.

I would encourage that the next time you see your loved one, or even a stranger, losing it in an all-out rant, that you would look through the tantrum to the struggle and choose not to put up your defenses or make a run for the hills, but to face it, like a 14-year-old boy, and change their whole world.